I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time. -Oprah Winfrey

Man, it's been a while. And man, I've been blessed!

I've been feeling guilty for some reason for not writing in this blog much lately, but I keep telling myself it's ok because I've been soaking it all in. And I definitely have been.

Ryan did a pretty dang good job of writing about our engagement here so all I want to add is that it was definitely the perfect proposal. We both knew it would happen but I definitely had no idea it was going to when it did! It was incredible. Could not have been any better. Before we started to ride back, Ryan explained to me why he asked the way he did. He said that he wanted it to be outside somewhere, where just the two of us were working out together and just doing something fun and going somewhere beautiful and new. And I totally understood. We both know that the rest of our lives together will be filled with times like this- being active together, pulling eachother along, and just being so happy. It really was perfect!!

Since our engagement, Ryan and I have kept busy. If you haven't already, check out his blog post about Maui and Xterra Worlds. I can't even begin to describe how proud I am of him for doing that race. He did awesome... I wanted to cry for him just looking at the course before he started haha. But he did it and tackled it like a champ! yay-yeah. I won't get TOO heartfelt on here but I will say that after that, there really is nothing that he can't do.

The past few months have been a little stressful for me only because I have put a lot of pressure on myself to get so much done in a short amount of time. That's why I chose the quote I did for the title of today's post. I've had to remind myself a lot lately (and Ryan definitely has, too) that I can't have everything and do everything at the same time, let alone have everything at once or do everything at once either. Maybe Oprah can, but I sure as hell can't!

Some people have told me that I shouldn't work so hard and that I need to take breaks and that I can't just shut out the world for a whole day just to work. I can't say I agree with that right now. I feel so selfish, helpless and single-minded for saying that and I can't stand it. But I also can't stand not having a full-time job doing something I love to do. Yes, I am an independent designer and that is my part-time job right now, and yes, it could be full-time, but that's not what I want. What I truly want requires a lot of hard work right now. It's not something that will be there forever and I want to make sure I do everything I possibly can to get it when the time comes! I feel like everyone who has told me not to work so hard and to not lock myself in my office room for hours on end are those who have already put in the work to accomplish their goals. They all have something already that they can depend on because they've worked hard to earn it. I haven't earned it yet! That's the only difference between us. They have, and now it's my turn. This might all sound harsh and I'm sorry if it does, but I just want people to understand why I'm doing what I am. I don't want to be selfish, but at the same time, I don't want to feel worthless and anything like average.. like I do at times now. And that's not a cry for pity, by the way. It's just my motivation to work harder than ever until I get that job.

Anyway, life is busy but great, as usual. And I just wanted to take the time to write about it since I haven't in so long!

Oh and I've created another blog for Huddy Design to that this one isn't all over the place. This one will be about all my random ramblings on life while the other is all about design. So check that one out if you're interested in seeing what's new for Huddy Design. :)